Sunday, April 15, 2012

So this is the end of the story.

Every road must eventually come to an end. Every book must end. Every life must end. Nothing lasts forever. As human beings we tend to forget this sometimes. Sometimes we run to the finish line, but sometimes we try to avoid it. I suppose it really depends on what it is thats going to end. Is it the deadline for a paper that you dread having to do, or the years you anticipate to finish a degree, or is it trying to slow down the process of growing older. 

Well here I am, at another chapter of my life that the last few words are being scribbled down on the last few pages before "THE END" is stamped on the bottom. It is amazing the amount of emotion you can feel. I teared up walking through the terminal leaving my home for 4 months. Now I am getting ready to tear up having to leave what has become my home away from home. 

I laugh thinking about how homesick I have been and now I am getting feelings of sadness that I may never come back to this place. I may never see my housemates again. I thought long and hard about it the other day on why I have been so homesick. I believe the main reason is because even though I have been here for an extended period of time, I never quite settled. Each day that went by got closer till I would have to pack my stuff up and get back on a plane. It is like I had a routine here, but it was just temporary. I have been restless. Ready to get back home to solid ground, a solid routine. It has almost been like that feeling you get when you're on vacation for just a tad too long. You enjoy being away from everything, yet as human beings we crave routine. That is how I've felt. I am ready to get home to my own house, to my own bed and my own animals. Ready to do the same old routine everyday. No worry about what I can or cannot buy because I am going to be flying home. 

So here we are... This time next week I will be packing up the last few things, setting out my clothes to wear on the plane, calling a taxi and dragging my suitcases down stairs. It has been so wonderful to be out here. It really helped me grow within. And even though I didn't get out and really make friends per say, that was a personal choice. I really needed this as a soul searching expierence. Not that I have not known who I am, because I have for quite some time. I think just needed a detox from certain habits I had back home. Not like I was addicted to drugs or anything crazy, just some habits I feel could personally self-destruct me. It is almost like I cold turkeyed my self from well... my self. 

I have loved every moment and my heart can smile again.

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