Thursday, April 5, 2012

Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction.

In 30 days I graduate. 

A person who has successfully completed a course of study or training, esp. a person who has been awarded an undergraduate academic degree.
Successfully complete an academic degree, course of training, or high school.

Where do I begin? Lets rewind to 3 months ago. 

It was finals. I had been living at school for about a month, if not more. 

Lets break this down further. 

I am a commuter student. I drive from St. Petersburg to Sarasota everyday for school. We are talking a 45 minute drive one way. I choose to live like this. As being an older student at Ringling I chose that living off campus was a better choice for me due to the fact that the average age of the student population is 18-21. Now I have a ton of friends that are 2-3 years younger than me, however I chose to have these friends in my life. And I didn't feel like being stuck with a bunch of young kids for my own mental being. The first year of school I lived in a house with 2 housemates in the Sarasota area. One housemate did not like the living situation and decided to move out. I decided it was best to move home where I have no rent. Also even though I was living in Sarasota due to snow bird traffic a 15 minute trip would take me an average of 30 minutes or more to get to school and home. So an extra 15 minutes was not going to kill me. That is until Midterms or Finals hit. Design school is demanding. You are talking long bloodshot, hysterical, suicidal hours sponsored by red bull, 5 hour energy and Starbucks. Nothing good can come out of a diet that consists of nothing but caffeine. Needless to say... pulling long hours and then trying to drive home at 3 a.m. after the computer labs would close, and trying to get back to school by 8 a.m. leaving me with an empty gas tank and maybe 2 hours of sleep got a little dangerous and I had to get smart about the situation.

So we started to sleep at school. We begged our teachers and faculty for 24 hour lab access and packed an over night back. A very large one. Sleeping on the floor at school can not be sanitary, nor is it confortable. But if it kept my truck from being wrapped around a light pole at some ridiculous hour, I would sleep anywhere. Plus I got more sleep. 

Geremy and I

Back to it being finals. 

I am driving to my girlfriends house to take a shower. It's a beautiful day out. My windows are down, Im jammin' out to music when it hits me. This is my last real semester of school. This is it. After this project is done I never have to sit in a computer lab pulling obnoxious health threatening hours again.

When I graduated high school I was excited to go to college. When I graduated with my Associates, I was proud to have even a two-year degree. I've always gone to school. Never thought to drop out. It was never an option in my mind. In fact it was always like second nature.  Like wiping your ass. You just do it. I mean unless you don't have toilet paper, and in that case you have a problem. But yea I graduated high school and signed up for SPC. I always assumed I would go to a University of Florida, so naturally I would have 2 years at SPC, get my AA then transfer. Well when I found out about Ringling I thought it would suit me a little better. Because lets face it. I love to party. So Ringling was it. Boom! Mind set, no one could change it. I hadn't even been accepted yet. But I did what I had to do. 

I over analyze everything. I over analyze what I want to buy. What I want to eat. The boyfriends I date. But in the end. If I want it, I get it. It is like programmed in me to where I don't even second guess it. 

I am at the end of the road I thought. School is officially over. Like for real. Like I NEVER EVER have to go back to school unless I get bored or something. I am done. This does not compute. I won't wake up and drive an hour to school any  more. I won't have to worry that it is midterms and finals. Homework is now obsolete. Every thing I have been basically programed to do is over. Wake up, get dressed, go to school, come home, repeat. There was so much going on in my head at that point in time... That was 4 months ago.

Now I am a month from graduation. What is going to happen? That's the question. School called me Tuesday and informed me what my school loan payment is going to be come graduation for the next billion years of my life. The past few weeks I have been so worried about getting home and working banquets till I can find a job in my field. I want to save up and get my own place. Ya know? I can't live at home and not be enrolled in school. That makes me feel inadequate. All I want is my own place. My own furniture. A dog. Now they tell me I have a loan payment that is the amount of rent. I want to stay in Florida but the Tampa area isn't exactly Interior Design central. All the jobs seem to be in the Miami area, or Orlando.

All I can do is hope for the best I suppose. We won't find out till we find out. I have always thought that things will work out. They always do. No point in stressing even though we do. In the end everything works out. Unless you're just that unlucky soul. But I like to think that I am one of the lucky ones. Sure I have over 50k in student loans, I live at home and have a few silly jobs. I spend more money then I make, and I have expensive taste. But in the end, it always works out for me.

So I guess this leaves me to one thing. Pulling my big girl panties up and make things happen. Positive thoughts make positive results. I got this far right?

Junior Year.
Have you ever slept some where crazy due to school or something else for that matter? Library? Your car? Planked across 5 chairs? I'd love to know that we are not the only ones! 

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